Part III: Apples, flea markets, and FOOD.

Travel Log Book
November 6, 2011

(chronicled by Fennig)

1:30 a.m.
While watching 17 Again (no, we do NOT have a crush on Zac Efron), a commercial for Alka-Seltzer flashes brightly across the screen.
Howard - "When I take Alka-Seltzer, I get high. Except it's scary, I get super emotional. Until I sleep. I'm like a baby: I wake up every four hours and cry."

11:00
Fennig and Howard attend Westminster Presbyterian Church with Howard's Aunt.

11:01
When introduced to old men at church, they note sweetly, "Those are pretty gals." *blush*

11:30
Why do we always want more? In a culture that revolves around a sun named "consumerism," how do we keep our souls from being consumed by the solar flares of desire, "stuff-lust," and material fulfillment?

11:41
Holy moly! This is a ridiculous choir. So incredibly good.

11:49
Communion begins - Fennig contemplates the probability of the presence of real wine.

11:53
With great dismay, Fennig discovers that it is, indeed, grape juice.

12:19
After church, we hit the road and encounter a "moving roadblock" - well now, that's a first!

12:25
The "moving roadblock" stopped moving - whaaa???

12:36
The road is now blocked off and people are exiting their cars chatting about the direness of our predicament - "I have three kids in the car." - "It's gonna be 30 minutes!!!!"

12:38
They say that all sorts of couples meet by flirting in traffic. That always baffled me, but I think I now better understand. A tall man with a blue plaid shirt and basketball shorts leans over the window of a red beat-up car. I can only presume its being driven by an attractive female.

1:00
Spot a billboard for the SoundSationS, a musical group that looks like they are permanently stuck in the 70s.

1:23
Fennig spots flying pigs. May all sorts of other impossibilities come to fruition!

1:52
Fennig and Howard peruse the menu at the Applewood Farmhouse Grill and consider moving to the south when we realize that Mac 'n Cheese appears in the vegetable section.

2:00
We feast on meatloaf, mashed potatoes, veggie soup, green beans (cooked in bacon grease), buttered corn, applesauce, and apple fritters with apple butter. Southern Comfort, on a plate. Fennig and Howard are overcome, and contemplate the possibility of never eating again.

3:13
Apple cider slushies. Is this madness possible???

3:30
Chocolate gravy. What the heck???

3:45
"Who wants applelicious lips? I do!" - Howard, when she spots an apple lip gloss.

4:08
Fennig and Howard stop at The Great Smokies Flea Market. Hats, scarves, toys, posters, albums, old books, and more bejeweled animal print purses than you can imagine. Fennig purchased a totes adorb red hat, and we purchased a couple books as well.

6:17
The transferring of the log!

(chronicled by Howard)

6:18
We went to the Lakeside Tavern for dinner with Aunt & Uncle. Rugged stone walls, dark wooden beams stretching across the ceiling, dark earthy colors, and a floor-to-ceiling view of the lake. Fennig is overawed, and notes between wondrous whispers that she must start a restaurant like this someday.

6:30
Fennig and Howard share a pecan chicken salad, with cajun-spiced chicken and sweet potatoes. Oh my goodness gracious me.

8:00
Fennig and Howard, along with Aunt, stop at the grocery store for ice cream and supplies for tomorrow's drive.

10:30
Fennig and Howard watch Runaway Bride, and eat ice cream. Yaaay!


TO BE CONTINUED

(Sneak peek: Howard and Fennig speak in Southern accents with lisps, meet Harry Houdini, and earn a free cappuccino.)

Part II: Football and Barbecue. 'Nuff said.

Travel Log Book
November 5, 2011

(chronicled by Howard)

9:20
Fennig and Howard awake from sweet slumber in soft cozy beds. The shower, we must note, is epic.

9:40
Ah, blissful beverage of intoxicating richness! My aunt knows how to make a good cuppa.

11:00
Uncle and Aunt return from morning errands, and begin fixing brunch. The aroma of cooking bacon wafts through the kitchen.

11:45
Uncle Mike has an automatic pepper grinder that makes delightful whirring noises. Fennig & Howard may put that on their Christmas list...

Note by Fennig:
While Howard reacts rationally to the discovery of a machine contained within the smallness of a pepper shaker, Fennig's reaction is much more severe. What leaps and bounds has man made in the realm of technology when man must no longer undergo the strenuous task of grinding pepper... by hand!!! Fennig continues to marvel at one of the most mind-blowing inventions she has yet seen in her young life.

(chronicled by Fennig)

3:20
We venture out into a sunny fall Tennesseean afternoon, accompanied by Howard's Aunt. Our destination? UT. Our quest? To get the ultimate southern football experience.

3:32
Drive by Mrs. Bush's (of Bush Baked Beans) house. Fennig decides she'll opt for the Italian style waterfront villa they drove by earlier.

4:33
Our experience of Tennessee spirit begins with the golden rich tunes of the pep band, accompanied by the cheer and dance team. We’ve already heard “Rocky Top” about 100 times.

4:25
Fennig and Howard hob nob with school nobility: the chancellor, former vice president, several professors, the head of the homecoming committee (Fennig felt a deep connection with her), and the head of the alumni association. The Chancellor suggested we attend grad school at the University of Tennessee. We nearly asked him for full-ride scholarships.

4:49
Fennig and Howard surveyed the World's Largest Moon Pie. That’s right, folks. It was ginormous. A Random Tennessean commented, "Yup. That's not too many calories, alright!"

4:50
Met football player Stanley Morgan: New England Patriots Hall of Fame wide-receiver. Seriously awesome. And his wife has the biggest diamond ring Howard has ever seen!


4:55
A "Cotton Eyed Joe" airplane banner flew overhead, inviting us to dance. Sounded pretty awesome to this Idaho gal.

5:15
This is the moment that Fennig and Howard have been waiting for. The moment that partially inspired this incredible trip. The moment that crowds of people herald as integral to the spirit of the South.
Yup. Time for some famous Tennessee BARBECUE!
Fennig and Howard clutched plates in anxious anticipation, waiting for the steaming smoky pork, barbecue sauce, and baked beans to pile onto their plates. As we sat at our table and tasted the sweet smoky tangy flavors, we were overcome. So THIS is what Southerners have been raving about. Ah, barbecued amazingness of the Southlands, what have we been missing our entire lives???

5:56
Fennig and Howard find themselves marching underneath the stadium seats towards a distant, gleaming field of green. We emerge on the football field, staring in awe at flashing lights and blaring speaker phones, orange-clad football players running to and fro, crowd cheering and buzzing about.
Wowzers.

6:05
Fennig and Howard spot an incredibly tall young man in a flannel shirt, milling about with other on-field viewers. We decided he looks like Dan Boone.

6:17
Fennig and Howard meet the Director of Athletics. BAM.

(chronicled by Howard)

6:50
Fennig and Howard are sitting on fantastic seats, surveying the football field. Lights flare brightly, cold breeze blows, smells of BBQ & fried food are wafting on the air.

6:58
10 minutes till game time! The band marches proudly across the field, accompanied by the sporadic erupting of fireworks. Fennig and Howard belt harmony to the national anthem.

7:20
TOUCHDOWN!

7:29
A middle-aged woman behind us comments, "That was ugly. I could kick that."

7:37
TOUCHDOWN #2!

8:10
Fennig and Howard feast in the President's box. Holy cow. This may be even better than Bojangle's (hard to believe, I know). Raspberries, strawberries, fine cheeses, fresh salsa, catered beefs and chicken, delicious baked goods-- this place make the taste buds dance with joy!

9:00
Fennig and Howard meet a Tennessee Supreme Court Justice. If only we were interested in law.

9:10
Fennig and Howard snag the President's chairs (don't worry, he left).

9:11
Fennig and Howard contemplate starting a wave in the President's Box. (They don’t.)

10:00
The game is won! Fennig and Howard return home, to the comfort of warm beds and TV.

TO BE CONTINUED...

(Sneak peek: what do apple butter, applesauce, apple cider, candy apple coffee, cinnamon apple candles, apple fritters, and caramel apple popcorn have in common? Stumped? Well, I guess you’ll just have to wait till tomorrow to find out.)

The Beginning of an Epic

Travel Log Book
November 4, 2011

Sing to us, oh muses!
Let thine sweet voices croon to the souls of women
Inspire the scribblings of mortal girl with the knowledge of eternity

‘Twas a sunny afternoon on the fair campus of Patrick Henry College, and all the students were stirring. A breeze of restlessness blew through the small campus as the students prepared for the start of an extended weekend. The students squirmed in their classes with eyes glazed over. Professors’ trains of thought were derailed by the ever present knowledge of the weekend to come.

Only 2 hours more until freedom. The clock ticked. And ticked. And ticked. Oh end of long and arduous day, when whilst thou come??

Fall breezes shook the campus with desperate longing... they beckoned, calling us onward and southward. We sprinted from the confines of stuffy classrooms, from the dark and laborous bowels of library and lab, and stuffed our bags with weekend treasures.

We set out with steadfast spirit, wanderlust tugging at our heartstrings. “To Tennessee!” our wearied spirits cried joyously.

Scrambling to the car, violins and iPods in tow, blankets and apples packed into the back seat, we prepared for whatever adventure may befall us. We would travel to Howard’s Aunt and Uncle’s house, to the gleaming gold hills of Southern majesty, to the proud home of football and country Music.

Let us savor the South, in all its smoky barbecued glory!
Thus begins the adventure logbook of the not-so-famed travelers Fennig and Howard.


(Chronicled by Fennig)

2:30
While doing hard things loading the car, Brett Harris saunters by and in a hushed tone of awe, comments on our matching trucker attire. That’s right, folks! Flannel, ripped jeans, frayed hats... and... uh... grey TOMS.

2:55
As we pull out of campus, a weight [strangely similar to that of a pile of PBR books] falls off Fennig’s shoulders, and we marvel at the plethora of fall colors.

3:35
Begin reading Flannery O’Connor’s “A Good Man is Hard to Find”-- we think we relate.

4:00
O’Connor’s tale is about murder in the forests of Tennessee. Yikes. Perhaps good men are even more scarce than we thought...

4:33
Eating sour patch candy, listening to Reilly, and reading an Anthropologie magazine, we take in a sweet whiff of cow manure-- we reminisce on days of old, spent at the county fair. It was truly a blissful moment when we realized that, indeed Toto, “We’re not in the city anymore.” (HALLELUJAH!)

5:17
The hills are getting larger and the houses are getting smaller.

5:19
Listening to Classic Rock, Howard uncontrollably shouts, “I love you, Dad!”

5:25
Stop in Arcadia for gas...
5:27
Psych out. Gas was $3.45. Who pays such outlandish prices for transportation???

(Chronicled by Howard)

5:56
Whilst breaking at a redneck gas station, Fennig and I chanced upon Martyn Evans. He noted with some admiration that we blended seamlessly with the natives in our flannel garb. To celebrate, Fennig and I bought creme sodas.

6:00
“Sweet Home Alabama.” Heck yes.

6:05
Spotted our first UT bumper sticker! It was on a large red pickup. Ah, how appropriate.

6:14
When reviewing her gas receipt, Howard realizes that the gas guy tipped himself $3. Whaaat? Culture differences are coming out.

6:16
Fennig & Howard spot the ever-increasing appearance of signs for “Shoney’s” and “Hardee’s”. Ethnic food, perhaps? What is this strange place of Shoney’s?

6:20
Saw a sign for the “Dixie Caverns” camping ground at exit 72. Fennig and I were strongly tempted to divert our travels. But we plodded on bravely.

6:29
Fennig and Howard round a mountainous bend, and survey a glorious sunset glowing soft orange and pink against the horizon. Taking in the cinnamon red trees and smoky soft clouds, we were rather staggered, and confident we had chosen excellently for our fall expedition.

6:48
What the heck is an “Omelet Shoppe”? The sign looked creepy to us...

7:25
Stopping for dinner at “Bojangles.” We know. The name surpasses all other fast food chicken n’ biscuit chains around. Could you imagine the food is even BETTER? Their biscuits surpass even a place that rhymes with Fintucky Tried Pickin. Yup.
Like their sign says, “Chicken should look like chicken.” With all its fixin’s. A special shout-out to Sparky and his chicken fryer, who labored over our meal with arduous care.

7:45
Howard: “I’m getting iced tea.”
Fennig: “I think I’ll just get water.”
Howard: “Ooh! I want water!”
Fennig: “Wow. Way to follow the herd.”
Howard: “Well... if the herd is cute...”
::dumps out full cup of tea & adds water::
Fennig: “Shout-out to Darwin!”

8:35
Passed a town called “Chilhowie”. Howard found this amusing.

8:43
In the north of Virginia, we have “William and Mary” college. In the south of Virginia, it’s “Emory and Harry” college.

9:05
WELCOME TO TENNESSEE!!! Well, cool beans and hot taters, throw me some home fries, cuz this place is heatin’ up!

(Chronicled by Fennig)

10:44
Well hello, Knoxville. You’ve never looked better.

10:47
Note to self: stop living life in shades of grey. As can be derived by billboard wisdom, “Life is orange and white.”

10:59
Howard and I spot “Brown Squirrel Furniture” in tandem. Stifling our ever present carnal nature, we resist the urge to swing by and stock up on walNUT furniture, and keep driving.

11:20
Fennig and Howard arrive at their destination: a lovely brick house, perched upon a hill overlooking Knoxville. Howard’s aunt and uncle await them at the door, with cider and cookies. Ah, this is the life...


(TO BE CONTINUED)

So it begins.

Once upon a time, there were two girls.

Their names?
Fennig and Howard.

They had many adventures-- involving road trips, salsa, excellent music, and endless laughter. Ah, such bliss! How to save these adventures? How to treasure them in a chronicle that they could access for future generations?

Then it hit them. Like a semi-truck.
A blog.